I don’t like to ask for help. Ever.

I like to think of myself as self-sufficient, responsible and in control. But when I was blindsided with a layoff two months ago, I realized that I would need to ask for help. A lot. From many people. On a regular basis. This wasn’t going to be easy.

When I told friends and family about my layoff, I was relieved when they offered their assistance without my having to ask for it. Their generosity and concern genuinely made me feel better, and I am incredibly thankful to them. But I knew my period of unemployment would most likely be a long haul and I would have to go back to them, asking them for assistance with my job search, with emotional support, and maybe, if things got really dark, with financial assistance.

I have had to swallow my pride time and time again since January, and I don’t see it letting up any time soon. So now, I would like to take the time to thank all those who have helped me over these last few months.

Thanks to the friend who has taken my phone calls time and time again and listened to me with the utmost patience and understanding.

Thanks to the friend who has provided me with several home-cooked meals and a trip to one of my favorite restaurants, free of charge.

Thanks to the friend who brought over a delicious Greek meal two days after I got laid off and sat with me, talking and drinking red wine.

Thanks to the friend who somehow needed an assistant on a recent project and thought of me.

Thanks to the childhood friend who has regularly reminded me of my strengths and abilities, including a strange aptitude for spelling.

Thanks to the friend who treated me to a trip to the Met to take my mind off things for an afternoon.

Thanks to the friend who emails me from California, regaling me with tales that make me laugh.

Thanks to the former co-worker, who has given me leads, job-hunting ideas and support.

Thanks to an ex-boyfriend, who shows his support and love even though we are no longer together.

Thanks to my sister-in-law, who calls me on a regular basis to see how I’m doing and bakes tasty treats when I visit. I realize that I am lucky to have so many people cheering for me.

Thanks, guys. And please continue to take my phone calls.

-By Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.

Read more from “Single White Unemployed Female.”

Up to this point I have done my best to give pointers as well as entertain those who are working hard to find employment. Now that I have entered a new era of my life I have found that many people have an issue to adapting to their new schedules. I am aware that there are several people who have ended up losing their jobs because they could not adapt. In addition, many individuals who have spent their life as full time workers are having difficulty adapting to temporary positions. It is equally challenging for those deciding to take a new career path who are accepting internships at little or no pay.

A new buzzword for this decade seems to be “temp to perm.” Based on those I have spoken to who have taken the temp path, a positive mindset is required. We all know that unemployment is a tough burden to bear. Here are some tips for those who are fortunate enough to have found full or temporary employment. These tips may also be helpful to those who are undertaking an internship or charity work for the first time. I hope you find them helpful…

In the last several months I have heard the term “PSTD” being used. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder mainly refers to those who have faced some crisis in life, such as war, or being a victim of a crime. In the past few months I have learned that PSTD can also refer to those who are out of work for long periods of time. Although some were lucky enough to find full time employment they have not resolved the feelings of fear and insecurity that comes with long term unemployment. What a tragedy it is to see those individuals, who have worked so hard to find employment, lose their job and re-join the ranks of the unemployed! I hope the following tips will help those long term unemployed individuals find peace in their new positions, whether they are temporary or permanent.

Tip Number 1: Re-adjust your schedule before you start your new position.

This is one of the mistakes I have made. When I lost my job, I resolved to wake up the same time I did while I was employed and keep a schedule that was as close as possible to my work schedule. It worked for the first few months. By the time I finally received an offer, my schedule had deteriorated. As there was a two week lag in between the time I accepted the position and the time I started work, I had let my discipline deteriorate. Although I spent many of those days making sure that my skills were up to date, I began to go to sleep later each night and wake up later each day. When the alarm clock rang on day one, it was a shock to my system. I compensated for that shock by doubling my caffeine intake. This resulted in an unscheduled trip to the doctor who told me to stay away from all caffeine beverages (especially coffee) for at least 2 weeks. Boy, was that another shock to the system! All of this could have been avoided by re-adjusting my schedule. By making sure you have enough rest, you will be in better frame of mind on the first day of your new job.

Tip Number 2: Make sure your skills are current

As I pointed out in my first tip, this is a key issue. Here is an example. I have Microsoft Office 2003 on my home computer. When I started my new job, I found that my employers were using Office 2007. Fortunately, I had spent the last week of my unemployment with some DVD’s I borrowed from the library. I spent at least an hour each day making sure that I knew the differences between Office 2003 and Office 2007. If your library does not carry DVD’s, you should contact your local employment center. As a result, I kept my Microsoft Office skills up to date. The added bonus was that there were still some individuals on the job who were struggling with the Office 2007 update. I am thankful that I avoided this “pothole.”

Tip Number 3: Remember the commitments you made during your interview, and find a mentor who can help put those plans into action.

When I started my previous position one of the commitments I made to management was to reduce product lead times. In order to put my plan into action, I needed help. I needed someone who understood the problem and its causes. I found a mentor in the engineering department. As a result of his assistance, I was able to put a plan into action. The play yielded quantifiable results which I was able to use as a basis for future interviews. Now that I am in the same position that I was over a decade ago, I am instituting the same action plan, and I am sure that it will yield the same results.

Tip Number 4: No matter how long your position lasts, MAKE YOUR MARK!

This tip is mainly aimed at those who find a temp, or a temp to perm position. For those of us who have spent most of our lives in full time positions, it is difficult to put the same mindset in place when you are in a temporary position. My view on this issue has been as follows: Whether your position lasts, a day, a week, or even a few months, it is imperative that you maintain the same work ethic as when you held your full time position. This is important for two reasons, First, it always helps to have a good reference. Maintaining focus and performing at your best, even though you know you will be facing unemployment again will give you a positive edge when you re-start your job search. Second, in the event your position becomes permanent, you want to be the candidate that fills the position on a full time basis. The positive contributions that come from maintaining your focus and completing the tasks you perform will go a long way to assure that you attain the position. Even if you do not, at least you can take satisfaction in that you performed all tasks you were given to the best of your ability; in addition it gives you more ammunition for your upcoming interviews.

Tip number 5: Remember to pay it forward.

If you are among those who are lucky to find a new position, please make sure that you do not forget those who are still looking for employment. Here is an example. Shortly after being hired, I made it a point to see if the company needed any additional positions to be filled. When I heard that there were additional positions available, the first thing I thought about were former co-workers who were still looking for employment. I contacted those individuals and forwarded their resumes to the appropriate departments. My view is simple. Finding a new position is great, but helping to find employment for former co-workers who have assisted your last position is even better!

For those of you who have successfully navigated through your unemployed position, I wish you much luck and good fortune at your new job. For those of you who are still looking, I wish you good hunting.

-By Howard K. Young, Contributing Writer & Member of The 405 Club.

View all of Howard’s posts here.

You could have fooled me. Every now and then, I catch snippets on the radio while driving or exercising in the gym, about surveys of hiring managers and their feedback in how to succeed on an interview. Because I am a career counselor, I always perk up and listen closely when I hear something about employment and job search. I’ve heard that employers like when job candidates pause before answering, because it shows critical thinking, that they look most closely at the interviewee’s shoes because polished shoes show attention to detail, and that the job candidate should end their “very-nice-to-meet-you” exit with a handshake and, in these exact words, “I want you to hire me!”

But the latest survey of hiring managers shocked me…

This survey reports that one candidate asked the interviewer out for a drink. Another came to the interview wearing flip-flops. And worst of all, another showed up and trimmed his fingernails!

I don’t believe it. Job search how-to is big business with employment recruiters and job search writers competing and perhaps conjuring up new ideas and preempting possibilities that someone somewhere in this world did just those things and coming up with new ways to say the same old thing: A jobseeker has to behave and dress appropriately. That’s a given. Perhaps writers of employment matters must come up with every possible scenario to prevent senseless, needless job interviewing bombs—fearing that if they don’t give warning—someone will commit a fatal faux pas that will cost him/her a potential job.

No one is that—on second thought—can I be so sure? After all, I don’t go in person on interviews with clients. Perhaps some of my pre-interview advice stays with them psychically but that’s literally another story!

I can’t believe some of the things I hear. Candidates who take cell phone calls during interviews or check their Blackberries. C’mon. Who are these reckless rogues?

I certainly hope they’re not talking about MY people! I work mostly with high level professionals, some of them, former six-figured salary earners. I’m sorry. How could that be? How could job candidates be so…foolish? I don’t mean to insult anyone’s intelligence but geez, I can’t fathom such stuff. I can’t imagine those behaviors on job interviews and I cannot believe that hiring managers really said that!

I can only wonder if these scenarios aren’t taken out of context and perhaps during a time when job openings weren’t as scarce as they are now or perhaps some candidates didn’t want the job for which they were interviewing. Interviews are so hard to come by and interviews that become job offers are even trickier to come by.

That’s why common sense would dictate certain behaviors by which one must conduct him/herself for a job interview. Just in case someone out there, some mysterious specimen of a jobseeker I haven’t run into yet, did one of those things, let me say this once: Tap into manners and common sense. Basic life skills and manners we learn—hopefully—early on from families and school. Things like being neatly groomed and dressed appropriately for business, having a pleasant attitude smiling, shaking hands and so on. But for God’s sakes, don’t chew gum, eat or drink either during an interview and turn that damn cell phone off! Basics…back to basics. I don’t want to have this conversation again.

-By The Job Enthusiast, who won’t rest until everyone has a job!

Read more from The Job Enthusiast here.